Don't Try This At Home

Watch Out for That...Spatula?

The Background: About 10 years ago (before kids), we lived in a cottage with a steep driveway. We lived across the street from the cutest little family ever (they had a 2yo). We had two cars; of those, my husband's was a Mitsubishi Mighty Max truck. The name was clearly wishful thinking because it was nothing more than a wind-up car. I was out of town visiting my mom.

The Story:
My husband was preparing to go somewhere (probably to play golf) and forgot something in the house. He went back in and when he came out his truck was rolling down the driveway, across the street, across the cute family's lawn, and into their chimney. Yes you read that right. INTO THEIR CHIMNEY--he forgot to set the truck's emergency break on that big hill of a driveway.

That was bad enough, but the family was actually out in their driveway watching the truck roll toward their house and wondering why my husband was trying to run them over. When my husband came running out the house his first thought was for the cute family's cute little daughter. Thankfully, she was fine and no where near the truck.

As it turns out the truck did not do any damage to their home. Woo hoo! You would think this is where the story ends. If I weren't such a busy body it probably would have ended there, but read on.

As my husband is relaying this story to me I am mortified. How on earth were we going to make this up to them? Well, duh! I'll make them rice crispy snacks! Nothing says I'm sorry I hit your house and almost ran over your family like a batch of rice crispy snacks. Right? So you see my logic.

At that time I was not known for my prowess in the kitchen. Seriously, though, how hard could rice crispy treats be? So I gather my ingredients, my pot, and my spatula. I'm stirring and I'm stirring. Then I take out my spatuala. Hmmmm. Something looks different...My spatula is now a stick without the flat spatula part. Huh? Where'd it go? I dig a little though the mix and can't find it. Maybe it melted? Ah well. It's still good. Yes, again, you read that right: IT'S STILL GOOD. I proceeded to spread the mix into the pan and take it over to the neighbor's house. Yes. I. Did. I also saved a little sumpin' sumpin' for myself.

I presented my masterpiece to the neighbors and they gave me a tour of their house. I apologized profusely and hoped they would take the rice crispy treats as a token of my embarrassment.

When I returned to the house I dove into my little stash. Two bites in I can't chew the treats. I take that piece out of my mouth and...it's the spatula.

In answer to your obvious question: Yes. I'm available to cater your next event.

This post was re-posted for Parent Bloggers Network as part of a contest sponsored by the American Egg Board. It was originally published on my blog in January, 2006.

A Giveaway for You: $25 Outback Steakhouse Gift Card

The winner of this giveaway is Happy Momma!

Last week one of the amazing marketing gals that sends me free stuff to review e-mailed me to see if I wanted a $25 gift certificate to Outback Steakhouse to celebrate their 20th birthday this month. I said, 'Hey, sure, but how about one to give away to my readers? They totally rock.' And she agreed because she's awesome like that.

So here's the marketing spiel from my gal:

Outback Steakhouse is celebrating its 20th birthday this month and with that comes the anniversary of the Bloomin’ Onion, Outback’s signature dish and the first item on the menu 20 years ago.

Here are some interesting facts on the Bloomin’ Onion:

• Outback has sold more than 133.5 million Bloomin’ Onions.
• 15 million Bloomin’ Onions are sold each year.
• Before it is “bloomed,” each onion is specially grown to be 16 ounces big and 4 ½ inches wide!
• The Bloomin Onion remains true to its original recipe: 17 different spices to flavor the onion and an additional 37 spices in the dipping sauce.

In honor of its birthday, Outback has also created a select number of special menu items that are only available through the end of April. 

OK. Now, you want to win that gift certificate so you can order a Bloomin' Onion or one of the other special menu items, right? Here's what you need to do: leave me a comment. Just one comment (duplicates make me annoyed and you don't want to make me annoyed--yes I'm totally aware of the grammar of that sentence. I sacrificed the grammar for the poor Hulk reference.).

Want more than one chance to win? You can post about Outback's 20th birthday and link to their special menu items to spread the word. Then come here and leave your permalink so I can verify that you do you, indeed, have a double entry for this giveaway.

I'll leave this giveaway open all week and choose a winner on Friday. I'll e-mail the winner and then said winner will need to contact the vendor to have the card sent to you. Don't worry--I'll have all the info you need. Good luck!

Chili Tried: Free Fiber One Cereal

I have information on how you can receive a free sample of Fiber One Cereal from EatBetterAmerica.com. The deadline is March 31, 2008. Head over to ChiliTried.com to read about the details.

Finger Food

I had to go to the grocery store today. It was no choice of mine, it was simply required. Apparently, somewhere in my SAHM handbook (which I've lost) it's my responsibility to make sure we have food for the masses. Or at least the ones that live in my house.

I received the oh-so-popular Deceptively Delicious Cookbook for my birthday. Now this book, despite its struggles with accusations of plagiarism, has received decent reviews all over the bloggy world. However, I'm not a big puree-er. Or hider. Or cauliflower, spinach, squash eater. And I don't usually inflict those on my family either because that would mean partaking of said veggies myself. So I do like other moms: I put weird things on plates and argue with my children about why they must eat it and explain the "try it 11 times" rule. (You know that one, right? It takes about 11 times of trying a food before you may actually like it? I swear. You can look it up in the handbook if you know where yours is. And if you do, you're a show-off.) Anyway, I hadn't bought the book so I was happy to receive it as a gift.

I read and re-read the book. It's optimistic. Besides being a bit on the perfect side, Mrs. Seinfeld makes it sound like I could really, truly, actually make this work. So I made a list of veggies to buy and puree: chickpeas (I've never bought these), couscous (ditto, but this isn't to puree), baby spinach (this may be the first time it doesn't turn to soup in my fridge), flaxseed meal (what?). Some other stuff too. Like Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies and Zebra Cakes. You know, for balance.

Then.

Then I saw the Betty Crocker Molten Chocolate Cake. Holy sweet chocolate divine. A single serving. Add water and microwave for 1 minute, 15 seconds. Hell. YES.

I left my cart finished up, hurried home, dumped the groceries, and quickly added the 1/4 cup of water to the mixture. And yes, I totally took that fudge packet and squeezed every bit of "extra" fudge right. into. my. mouth. Mmmhhhmmmm. I said it. You do it too, so don't be all up in my grill about "ewww gross".

When my sweet mound-o-chocolate-n-fudge was finished I relished every single bite. I ate slowly and enjoyed the mushy fudginess. I think actually involuntarily closed my eyes at one point. Then I looked at the bowl and realized with horror that the fork I was using would not be up to the task of scraping the dregs of mushy fudgy goodness out of the roundness of the bowl. Physics simply wasn't on my side.

Since I was upstairs and nowhere near the silverware drawer (who really calls it flatware, anyway?) I was in a terrible quandary. There was nothing for it but to slide my finger completely around the bowl and rescue every bit of chocolate and deposit it in my mouth. Because I'm all about the class.

Huh? What? Oh. The cookbook? Yeah. I'm going to puree tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes. In the mean time, why don't you go try the Betty Crocker Warm Molten Chocolate Cake? Because? YUM. You are soooo going to use your finger.

Noble Excellence Holiday Dishes: No Lead

Last year for Christmas, my mother gave me a beautiful platter and four dinner plates in the Noble Excellence Christmas pattern. I just love them. This year she told me to pick out more and she would give them to me for Christmas again. Don't you just love them? (You can click on the pictures for a closer look.)

Each piece has a part of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.

AND! They were on sale! Each dinner plate was $4.49! Each salad plate was $4.49! (These are available at Dillard's, btw.)

And the serving pieces!

To die for right? Except you might not know that they really could be. To die for, that is. Because? They are made in China. So now I have to go by a lead detection kit.

UPDATE: I did NOT find any lead in the dishes. Whoopee!

Monster Eye Meatballs

Ingredients

• 3 c all-purpose baking mix (like Bisquick)
• 1 lb ground hot pork sausage
• 1 (8 oz) block Muenster cheese, shredded (Ha! Muenster. Get it?)
• 1 (7 oz) jar pimento-stuffed Spanish olives

Instructions

1. Combine first three ingredients in a large bowl.
2. Mix until blended (I don't use a mixer, just a wooden spoon).
3. Shape mixture into 1 1/4 inch balls.
4. Place on lightly greased baking sheets.
5. Press one olive into the center of each ball.
6. Bake at 400° for 15 to 18 minutes or until lightly browned.

Yield: About 4.5 dozen

Cookies

I have already admitted that I'm not stellar in the kitchen. That's not to say I can't cook, but I do have to be paying attention.

As a special after-school treat I decided to make cookies for the kids. Nothing fancy, just the break-apart cookies from Nestle. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

The problem is that I'm still figuring out my oven. It never seem to bake the cookies right. The package says bake for 10-12 minutes, but I always have to bake for much longer before they aren't raw.

This time, apparently I under-baked one batch and over-baked the other. Actually, I love the under-baked ones: they are gooey in the middle and crunchy on the edges. Perfect.

Except that they are flatter than pancakes.

The next batch I over cooked. I couldn't even get them off the baking stone. I had to chip them away. I was left with mostly crumbs.

Of course, none of this deterred the chilluns and me. We ate every single one of them while we played Clue.

Professor Plum, in the lounge, with the wrench. It's always the quiet, bookish types. You know?

Girl Scout Cookies! *Updated*

Thank you to everyone who contacted me about cookies! Wild Thing and I are in your debt. However, I've been told I'm not supposed to sell cookies via the Internet. I will still honor the requests I've received and I will bill those people when I receive the cookies (about 2/27-3/1). I do need to close the comments to this post. Thanks for your support. (Remind anyone of a 1980s wine cooler commercial?)

This is absolutely shameless, I know. I am resorting to using my blog for a sales pitch. Please accept my apologies and feel free to move on to another blog without responding--I will completely and utterly understand. However, if you have pity for me and my daughter, read on. Especially if you are in the Tulsa area (if you aren't then you probably don't wanna buy anything from use because then I'll have to send it and god only knows how much that'll cost!). If you are out of town, we are still happy to sell to you, but I'll need to invoice you via PayPal before we send you the cookies. (Thanks to GiBee for that fabulous idea!)

Wild Thing is a first-year Brownie and Girl Scout cookie sales are going on now. The ice storm put us behind on our sales and we currently have sold a whopping TWO boxes! (Thanks, Charlotte!) We're on our way! If you or anyone you know is interested in buying some very tasty Girl Scout cookies, please send them our way. I'll list the cookies below and you can feel free to respond (or not!) with the kind of cookies and how many boxes of each you'd like to purchase. You can e-mail me privately at mdmnelson at gmail dot com if you would rather.

Each box is only $4. Ordering ends on Sunday, Feb. 4. Cookies will be delivered/mailed (if you're out of town) on March 1. You pay for the cookies when you receive them.

Types of cookies:

• Samoas: Tender vanilla cookie, covered with caramel, rolled in toasted coconut, and striped with a rich, chocolaty coating. Count per pkg: 15
• Thin Mints – extra thin, extra minty
    Thin wafers covered with smooth cocoa coating and made with natural peppermint (Approximate count: 38).
• Do-Si-Dos – peanutty excitement
  Naturally good! Crisp and crunchy oatmeal cookies with creamy peanut butter filling and no artificial color or flavor (Approximate count: 22).
• All Abouts – celebrate Girl Scouting
  These beautifully designed shortbread cookies have a series of Girl Scout messages on top and a rich fudge coating on the bottom (Approximate count: 16).
• Trefoils – light and delicious
  Tasty, tender shortbread cookies that melt in your mouth (Approximate count: 44).
• Tagalongs – wildly popular
  Tasty cookies topped with creamy peanut butter and covered with a luscious chocolate coating (Approximate count: 15).
• NEW! Café Cookies – a gourmet-style cookie
  Carmelized with brown sugar, this charmingly crisp cookie will delight all cookie connoisseurs. With a hint of cinnamon spice, it's perfect with your favorite hot beverage (Approximate count: 47).
• NEW! Sugar-free Little Brownies
  Made with real chocolate chips! An explosion of chocolate flavor in a bite-sized package! You won't believe this luscious treat is sugar-free. (Approximate count: 20)

Thanks for your support and help! And don't forget, you can pay via PayPal!

Watch Out For That...Spatula?

Things are little crazy these days at Casa de Chili. Seems if Momma gets a sinus infection and possible strep throat and then adds a migraine or two, things come to a screeching halt. I'm fine, don't worry about me. Definitely getting better. I just don't have the wit to write an original post. So today I give you my foray into gourmet cooking: Rice Crispy Treats a la Spatula (originally posted January 17, 2006).

The Background: About 10 years ago (before kids), we lived in a cottage with a steep driveway. We lived across the street from the cutest little family ever (they had a 2yo). We had two cars; of those, my husband's was a Mitsubishi Mighty Max truck. The name was clearly wishful thinking because it was nothing more than a wind-up car. I was out of town visiting my mom.

The Story:
My husband was preparing to go somewhere (probably to play golf) and forgot something in the house. He went back in and when he came out his truck was rolling down the driveway, across the street, across the cute family's lawn, and into their chimney. Yes you read that right. INTO THEIR CHIMNEY--he forgot to set the truck's emergency break on that big hill of a driveway. That was bad enough, but the family was actually out in their driveway watching the truck roll toward their house and wondering why my husband was trying to run them over. When my husband came running out the house his first thought was for the cute family's cute little daughter. Thankfully, she was fine and no where near the truck. As it turns out the truck did not do any damage to their home. Woo hoo! You would think this is where the story ends. If I weren't such a busy body it probably would have ended there, but read on.

As my husband is relaying this story to me I am mortified. How on earth were we going to make this up to them? Well, duh! I'll make them rice crispy snacks! Nothing says I'm sorry I hit your house and almost ran over your family like a batch of rice crispy snacks. Right? So you see my logic. Anyway, at that time I was not known for my prowess in the kitchen. Seriously, though, how hard could rice crispy treats be? So I gather my ingredients, my pot, and my spatula. I'm stirring and I'm stirring. Then I take out my spatuala. Hmmmm. Something looks different...My spatula is now a stick without the flat spatula part. Huh? Where'd it go? I dig a little though the mix and can't find it. Maybe it melted? Ah well. It's still good. Yes, again, you read that right: IT'S STILL GOOD. I proceeded to spread the mix into the pan and take it over to the neighbor's house. Yes. I. Did. I also saved a little sumpin' sumpin' for myself.

I presented my masterpiece to the neighbors and they gave me tour of their house. I apologized profusely and hoped they would take the rice crispy treats as a token of my embarrassment. When I returned to the house I dove into my little stash. Two bites in I can't chew the treats. I take that piece out of my mouth and...it's the spatula.

In answer to your obvious question: Yes. I'm available to cater your next event.

My Contribution to the World

Artichoke Dip
(The key to this recipe is to buy marinated artichoke hearts and add the oil they're packaged in to the recipe.)

8 oz. jar of marinated artichoke hearts
8 oz. cream cheese
1 cup grated mozzarella cheese (divided in half)
1 cup grated parmesan cheese
1 cup mayonnaise (NOT Miracle Whip)
1-2 green onions

Combine all ingredients, except 1/2 of the mozzarella, in a bowl (or you can use a food processor on pulse; I like mine chunky so I don't use the food processor, but I do cut up the artichoke chunks a little). Don't forget to add the oil from your marinated artichoke hearts!

Pour into a shallow baking dish (the small, round stoneware dish from Pampered Chef is excellent for this). Cover with the rest of the mozzarella cheese. Place in oven (350F) for about 30-40 minutes or until bubbly.