Don't Try This At Home

Inquiring Minds Want to Know: Your Blogging Story Carnival

But why they want to know is beyond me. I mean seriously, if you ever meet me you'll know how misplaced your curiosity is. Until then, I shall try to feed the myth and keep the dream alive.

(Thanks to everyone who helped spread the word about this little carnival! Scroll down to add your blogging story to my Mr. Linky list!)

How did you start blogging?
Well, I am a Kim Komando fan. Many moons ago, in 2003 or 2004 she started talking about how blogs were the big "thing". Having been a web designer in a former life, I was interested in how blogs worked and whether I could manipulate the code and make it my own. And I'd always fancied myself as a true, deeply feeling writer that just needed an outlet. Don't we all?

So I got myself online, found Blogger, and started writing. There was something liberating about writing my thoughts down and knowing no one in my family or friend circles knew those thoughts were out there. It honestly never occurred to me that anyone else would ever read it either, because I never had any comments. Besides, if you don't tell people it's there (which I didn't), then how can anyone read it? Obviously I did not sign up for BlogTopSites or any other blogrings. I was just layin' low, posting sparsely, and enjoying the anonymity.

I mean really, can you blame me? With posts like this? Oye. I DARE you to tell me that's not a Calvin Klein perfume/cologne commercial in the making. I DEFY you to tell me it's not.

Did you intend to be a blog w/a big following? If so, how did you go about it?
As I said above, I never really had any intention of writing for an audience. Then, Shannon showed up at my door to drop off some PTA stuff and casually said, "Hey, do you by chance blog?" I was totally taken aback and scared to death she had found me out. No worries, though, she just thought I was the type of savvy gal to have a blog. Oh, and she blogged. Maybe she could read my blog? Um, that would be no. Well, OK. But don't tell anyone.

Shannon was patient. She read my blog. She laughed at some posts. She turned me on to all sorts of bloggy things: site meters, blogrings, and, oh-sweet-crack-of-life, COMMENTS. Just one hit is all it took. Literally. One person comes to my site and I'm all, "Holy Cow! I'm live! And people are reading! And Commenting!" I was never the same. The seedy underbelly of blogging had claimed my soul and I was determined to blog for comments.

I signed up for many a blogring and even had BlogTopSites on here for a while. I started getting serious about my design and whether I would post pictures of me and my family or not. I started visiting other blogs and made a blogroll. I left comments on other blogs.

To this day comments are one of my favorite things about blogging. So, knowing my problem, y'all should really throw me a bone and comment. A LOT. Not just today, either. Like, all. the. freakin'. time. K?

What do you hope to achieve or accomplish with your blog? Have you been successful? If not, do you have a plan to achieve those goals?
This is an interesting question because my goals for this blog have changed throughout the year and a half I've been out of the closet.

When I first started blogging I really just needed a place to write when I felt the urge. I had tried journaling in the traditional sense and it wasn't doing it for me. My blog allowed me to type my thoughts faster than I could write them. Because of that I was able to follow my stream of consciousness a little better.

Now that my blog has grown a bit, my focus has changed I think. I write less for myself and more for my audience. I'm true to myself, but I don't think I would write daily if it were just for me.

In addition, I have ads on my site now and I feel that the blog and it's sister blogs (Blogging Basics 101 and Chili Tried) are becoming a business. I find that I need to start treating the blogs as daily "must-dos" because they have the potential to bring in traffic and cash. If I play them right, I could parlay the blogs into hands-on workshops (for BB101) or speaking engagements (at conferences).

Has the focus of your blog changed since you started blogging? How?
See question above.

What do you know now that you wish you'd known when you started?
Comments rock. I would have started blogging for comments immediately!

Do you make money with your blog?
This is another thing Shannon turned me on to. Of course, she's like the QOB (Queen O' Bloggin') so her traffic is a little higher than mine (OK, it's miles above mine, but I won't let it affect our friendship). She started putting ads on her site and suggested I do the same because she was making some pocket change every month.

Hello? Money for blogging? Something I do every day on my quest to get my swamp back to feel the rush of comment crack? Sure. I'll take that. I was OK'd for BlogHer Ads and I was off.

In answer to the question: Yes, I make a little money from blogging. No, I can't pay off my house. Or buy this. I can go out to eat for lunch if I want to.

BTW, I will gladly thank and link to anyone who would like to extend an invite to me to do BlogAds. Everyone I know who does it doesn't have any invites. I would love to try BlogAds. Besides, don't you get a cut of my profits? Win-Win!

Does your immediate or extended family know about your blog? If so, do they read it? If not, why?
Although my immediate family did not originally know about my blog, they do now and several of them read it regularly.

• Husband: Knows about the blog, but does not read it. I'm not sure he could find it on his own. He is completely disinterested, but highly supportive of my blogging problem addiction business.
• My dad: He reads it almost every day, I think. He'll even comment sometimes. It's a good way for him to keep up with what's going on with us.
• My mom: She knows I have a blog. She does not understand computers, nor does she want to. Because she only turns on her computer when Mars isn't in retrograde, she never reads my blog.
• My MIL: She knows about it vaguely, I think. I'm pretty sure she never reads it, though.
• My brother and SIL: SIL reads it every day, I think, or pretty close. She doesn't always comment, but I've had a few direct e-mails asking for specific posts. (grin) She tells Brother when he should read.
• Extended family: I have aunts and a cousin who read my blog (my cousin also has her own blog). I love that my aunts care enough about what's going on in my family's life that they log on to see what we're up to.

What two pieces of advice would you give to a new blogger?

1. Jump in and get dirty. You won't learn anything about blogging just waiting to see what everyone else does. If you have questions, visit Blogging Basics 101 or do a search on Google. You'll be amazed at the resources out there.
2. Don't be afraid to learn how to manipulate your own HTML. It's fun and it's not that hard. Just remember, a computer (or Web browser) can only do what it's told. That's what HTML is--you telling the browser how to show your page. For example, if you want something italicized, you have to tell the browser to show that word italicized or it just shows a regular font. To italicize you would type <i> put your words here </i> to make it look like this put your words here. The <i> tells the browser where to start showing the italics, and the </i> tells the browser where to stop showing the italics. See? You just learned a bit of HTML! You can do this!

That's it. That's my bloggin' story. I hope you enjoyed it. I'm glad you stopped by. I really appreciate it. Since I rarely check my site stats, though, you should probably leave me a comment so I know you were here. Thanks.

Hey! Wait! Don't forget to write your own post and put a link to it on the Mr. Linky below! (Don't forget to link directly to the actual post, not your main blog page. We want to make sure everyone reads your story and doesn't get lost looking for it!)

Ask Chili: Wk 5

This week's column (and I use the term loosely) is less about reader questions and more about my own free advice to the teams on The Amazing Race: All Stars.

If you haven't watched The Amazing Race before, you really should give it a try. My kids love it and it's a fantastic opportunity for my family to sit down and focus on something together. We don't watch a lot of TV at my house, so it's nice to have this show in common. Every week Max and Wild Thing discuss who they are rooting for and why, who they think will be eliminated, and what strategies they would use if they were in the race.

From what I can gather from tonight's premier, the main criteria for the All Star season was the more annoying, the better.

Mirna and Shmirna (or Charla if you want to get technical): These two gals are cousins. I hated watching them the first time they were on the show and whooped when they were eliminated. They're back. They bring with them all the contrived drama and fake Spanish with a fake accent you can handle in an hour. My tip: Just because you say, "Eeets vedy goot" with an accent that may or may not pass for Spanish does not mean you speak Spanish.

Kevin and Drew: The baldies. Let's skip right to the tip: If you know you're going to be on a national show in prime time, take a few months to get yourself in shape. That way you won't lose a foot race to a dwarf or fall flat on your face the first time you have to leave your car. If you do fall flat on your face the first time you leave your car, don't cry like a little girl.

Kentucky (aka David and Mary): I liked these guys last season. I was excited for them that they made it as far as they did. This season? I'm done with them. They are already lying to other teams and bickering with each other non-stop. I can't count how many times they put each other down. It's so sad. My tip for these two is to just chill. Try to work together for Pete's sake. At this rate you'll never make it.

Everyone else I like. The couples are getting along and respectful (give them time, it's only episode one), the gays are friendly and fun, and the older teams are holding their own. I'd really like to see more of Uchena & Joyce and Teri & Ian. It was a complete bummer for me that JV & Jill were eliminated tonight. By rights that should have been Kevin & Drew or Mirna & Shmirna because they made all sorts of mistakes.

Anyone else watch? What did you think?

Ask Chili: Wk 5

how do you feel about skirts with boots? I just don't think it's a look I can pull off, but I'm really tempted to try. what do you think?

holymama

Dear HolyMama:
Seriously. What is up with you and the capitals?

As for the boots I think there are a few things to consider: How short is your skirt? What kind of boots are they (e.g., run-of-the-mill knee-high boots, Robin Hood ankle boots or, OMG, cowboy boots)?

• Short skirt/Cowboy boots: In your 20s? Go for it. You probably still have the legs for it and actually shave.

• Long skirt/Cowboy boots: Live on a ranch? Seems like a good idea where you live and you've seen people you'd actually trust wearin' it outside the ho down? Then go for it. Besides, no shaving involved. That always gets my vote.

• Short skirt/Knee-high boots: Yes. You can totally do this no matter your age. Of course in your 20s the skirt can be above the knee. When you're in your 30s or over "short skirt" can only mean "knee length" or you are going to crash and burn. Unless you're Nancy Sinatra and then it's just part of our national culture and you have standards to uphold--she must wear the short skirt. Or Tina Turner, because Oh.My.Word. she has the most perfect legs around.

• Long skirt/Knee high boots: Yes. Everything's covered, no shaving. Heaven.

What's that? What's that you say? You say I haven't touched on the Robin Hood boots? OK. Yeah, I totally think you should wear them with a short skirt. Take lots of pictures. Send them to me. I can't wait to see the spectators' faces. This ought to be good.

Ask Chili: Wk 4

Dear Chili,

What on earth should we do with those people who refuse to check their e-mail?  Who say things like, “Oh, here’s my address, but just call me because I check it, like, once a month.”

Signed,
Needing more 21^st-century friends

Dear Soul Sister,

You can always respond with the ever-popular, "Excellent! Here's my phone number. You can call me, but I only answer my phone on odd Fridays between 2 and 3." There are other options:

• Offer them string and tin cans with your e-mail address on them.
• Smile and nod. Then only e-mail them. If they really like you, they’ll check the e-mail. Or they’ll keep missing play dates. Make sure the play dates are scheduled somewhere fun for you so it won’t matter whether they show up.
• Ditch them.

I don’t hang with anyone who doesn’t check their e-mails a quadrillion times a day. I should be able to carry on a conversation via e-mail because they check their e-mail so much. Sure, we could IM, but that’s not the point now is it?

*********

Ooooh la la la la Chili!

Please riddle me this...  why do you choose to hide your face and your kiddies' from the internet?  (I figure this might give some people good insight for their own actions!!)

THANK YOU!

SARAH COOL :)

Dear Sarah:

Are you wearing a can-can skirt right now? Or just a tight green catsuit? Oh no. Please tell me you aren’t wearing the catsuit with the can-can skirt. That’s just wrong. Now if you add a little mask to that you might have something.

Speaking of masks, I choose to wear my mask because it's just terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

PS: And really, God help those who look to me for insight for their own actions.

Ask Chili: Wk 3

Dear Chili--

• Beans or no beans?
• 1 alarm or 4?
• Is it true what my dad used to say about the weather: Chilly today, hot tamale?

Sincerely,
Hungry

Dear Hungry,

• Definitely beans. Unless you're Mr. Chili, then no beans. I'll let you ponder that one.
• Two-alarm should suffice unless you are complete wacko and a true chilihead (I am not. I only call myself that to blend in and sound cool).
• Have you seen the weather? My tamales are covered in ice.

**********

Dear Chili,
Where do numbers go when we aren't using them?

Namaste,
Philosophical

Dear Phil,

You don't mind if I call you Phil, do you? Phil, lay off the LSD. This little film will show you the hazards of too many mind-altering drugs. Take heed and don't be the marijuana spider.

Don't Forget to Submit Your Questions

Just a quick reminder to submit your questions to Ask Chili. You've got questions, I'm just the smart aleck to answer them. Click the button on my sidebar and send me your burning questions.

Ask Chili: Wk 2

Dear Dr. Chili:

I have a problem with my mother. She sees dead people. Well, she doesn't exactly see them. She likes to talk about them. To be exact, she likes to phone me and tell me who has died. My problem? This isn't my favorite topic.

Can you help me, Dr. Chili?

Signed,
Morbidly Annoyed

Dear Morbidly Annoyed: Buy your mother cable, introduce her to John Edward, and change your phone number. Also? Haley Joel Osment called. He wants his schtick back.

***

Dear Chili,

How would you handle a mother-in-law who has "shown out" two years in a row at Christmas?
This year....we weren't all there at 4:00 (the time she had in her head) and we got there at 5:00 to....NO ONE....

She left!   And didn't return......!

And is still mad at us...............!

Dear ..............!,

First, learn to use ellipses.

Second, learn to use a Ouija board.

Third, be happy. If she was really "showing out" you'd have to shield the youngin's eyes.

Ask Chili: Wk 1

In response to your overwhelming desire for an "Ask Chili" feature, I've created a special button over there to the left under my picture. I've also answered a few of your questions. Silly mortals. You dare to ask La Chili questions? Mwa ha ha ha ha!

dear chilihead,

does the 'three second rule' apply to m &ms that are dropped on the floor? I would think they would get longer, due to the protective barrier nature of the candy coated shell.

Dear Too Busy To Use A Single Capital Letter Or Sign Your Name:

duh. now go cook some veggies and try not to drop them on the floor.

*****

Dear Chilihead,

Don't you and your friends know that it's considered rude in just about all of polite society to taunt people about knowing secrets that you're not going to share?

Sincerely,
Miss Manners

Dear Miss Manners,

I'm assuming this is in response to my three posts about this site. This just in: Chilihead has a mean streak! Story at 12:01am! Or whenever I feel like it.