Don't Try This At Home

Please, oh Please! Let Me Win This One!

Y'all, I love my Riccar, but it's not the be all, end all. I've been coveting Dysons forever. Now one lucky blogger (me! me! oh please oh please oh please let it be me!) has a chance to win one from 5 Minutes for Mom. It's the model you see over there on the left. Delicious, isn't it? You can see more models at the Dyson site.

To enter the contest, you just need to head over to 5 Minutes for Mom and sign up on their Mr. Linky then do a post about the Dyson. Easy peasy, lemon squeazy.

I' d love to chat more, but I must go day dream about the uses of the Dyson. Oh my word...drapes, furniture, baseboards, carpets. Endless possibilities, I tell you.

Here's keepin' my fingers crossed.

Friday Fun: Movie Quotes

Anyone up for another round of Movie Quotes? I'll post the answers later today (or perhaps Saturday, depending on how the day shapes up!).

• You know, I love that word. Gargantuan. I so rarely get to use it in a sentence. Kill Bill, Vol. 2
• Violet! You're turning violet Violet! Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
• I had a little trouble in tinting class. Grease
• You are a boil on the butt of humanity. Steel Magnolias
• Character 1: You cheated!  Character 2: Um, Pirate! Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
• Boom chugga lugga lugga! Boom chugga lugga lugga! Stripes
• Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe? Breakfast Club

My Little Slice of Spring

When I was younger, I really didn't care for spring. Just coming out of my winter hibernation I felt puffy and pasty (being a red-head with fish-belly white skin will do that last bit to ya). While other girls were donning shorter skirts and sleeveless tops, I wanted the safety and coverage of my jeans and sweaters (though not for the sake of modesty, simply to hide the blinding whiteness of my arms and legs). Each spring everyone bloomed except me.

As an adult I love spring. After months of cold, can't-go-out-or-I'll-freeze-my-tamales weather, I welcome the warm mornings, occasional rain showers, and blooming plants. I love to hear my children begging for me to unlock the door and let them in just a few more minutes outside. I'm also over the puffy and pasty thing. I no longer feel I need my own stash of sunglasses to hand out as I walk down the street in my sleeveless shirt.

Besides the rain showers, there are a few other ways to know spring has sprung at Casa de Chili:

My favorite tree. Our front yard is filled with this Urban Ash. By May it will be completely full of leaves and the perfect place for picnics. I have spent many spring afternoons under this trees with my babies (who became toddlers and then became big kids; I fear I'm in danger of losing them altogether very soon and I will be left with an Ash tree and my memories).

These summer lilies started as a few bulbs about three years ago. They spread like a yawn in church. We've actually thinned these and given many away. In fact, this picture does not show the entire lily patch. When they are in full bloom (around June, I think), I'll re-post a picture of them. They're bright orange color is something.

Our hostas. Oh how I love our hostas. They are the product of ten years of growing (yes, we've thinned them periodically). When they are full size I will show you another picture; they are truly a site to behold.

And what would spring be without a jump rope? Shannon found this rope for Wild Thing last year. It has almost been worn to ribbons. As you can see, Wild Thing hasn't deviated from her Pinky Tuscadero style sense.

Happy spring to you all. Go out there and enjoy it!

The Pilates Cheer

I've been eating right lately. As you may or not be aware (since I tell everyone about it within five minutes of meeting them), I am loosely following the South Beach diet on doctor's orders. In the past month I've also started working out three times a week with Ann. We hit the elliptical machine and then Ann guilts me into doing some crunches or lifting weights.

What I'd really like to do is Pilates. It's a great way to work out without, you know, sweating and feeling like you worked out. I used to do it regularly, but I can't show my face there any more. I haven't attended a Pilates classes in 18 months. Oh, the shame of it all. You know what I'm talkin' about, right? RIGHT?

There I am, all inconspicuous on my Pilates mat. I'm doing the stuff. I'm concentrating on my breathing. I'm...OMG. I have that feeling and it ain't that lovin' feelin'. Squeeze. Concentrate. Squeeze, woman!

And then...the Bronx cheer you never want to have happen in mixed company. To make matters worse, it was dead quiet in the studio. What is it about silence that makes inappropriate noises increase in decibels?

The sad thing is I totally could have blamed it on Charlotte, but I have an ingrained reaction to blurt, "Excuse me!" any time that happens. So I basically said, "Yo! Disgusting, gassy red-head at 3:00! Scatter or suffocate!"

I have not been back since. It's possible that they've all forgotten. I haven't though. And I know myself. It's gonna happen again. Best to just avoid the whole thing altogether.

Overheard Last Week

Max and Wild Thing loved, loved, loved skiing last week. I was most impressed with the instructors at Eldora Ski Resort should any of you ever be out that way. They respected the children and made sure they had a ton of fun. As I was riding the lifts up the mountain I would occasionally spot a group of kids with their instructor and I could hear what was being said. Never once did I hear an instructor belittle or berate a child. Instead I heard squeals of laughter, constant praise and encouragement, and not a few thumps as snowballs hurled out of nowhere to hit the instructor square in the chest. His/her response? To retaliate. It was absolutely fantastic.

In addition to new friends and lots of fun, Max and Wild Thing were treated to gourmet lunches each day of ski school: mac and cheese or PB&J or Dino nuggets (or some combo thereof). Both of mine need a 12-step program for mac and cheese and they could not refrain from said starches for even a day. That's where the overheard part comes in.

On Friday we were done skiing and my children had had mac and cheese or some form of noodles almost every. single. day. We took Friday to walk around the Pearl Street Mall in Boulder and just relax.

Max: What are we having for lunch today?
Wild Thing: I hope it's mac and cheese! I haven't had that in forever! It's been weeks!
Me: What? You've had it, like, three or four times this week. I can't even keep count!
Wild Thing: Well, not homemade.
Me: Yeah, because that Kraft box I use is real homemade. My dear, we've got some cookin' to do.

How to Have a Successful Vacation

• Stay with family, introduce them to your crack Guitar Hero. Laugh much.
• Call aunt, uncle, and cousins for an impromptu gathering. Laugh much.
• Watch children blossom as they learn new skills (skiing) even though said skills are hard at first. Hug much. High-five much.
• Watch in awe as your children fly down all Green slopes without stopping or turning. Have heart attack much, then burst with pride at their confidence.
• Buy many great things including ice cream and stuffed pizza. Enjoy much.
• Watch children play with cousins and friends with abandon. Laugh much and smile inwardly at their happiness.
• Watch youngest child pull out her tooth. Gag much, but remember to act as TF.
• Buy ridiculously cute shoes and utterly hilarious postcards that you forget to send. Show off both on blog. Laugh hysterically every time you even think of postcards and how friends will react when they finally receive them.

YouTube: Cubicle Wars

Picture of the Week

Emily sent these pictures to me. Apparently some of the designs cost about $15,000 and need to be redone every three months. These are cool, but I'm pretty sure I could do it with some finger paints.

This paint job is cool, but they remind me of an afghan blanket.

Hmmm. I have cat. What I really want is a lemur.

Here, koi! Here koi, koi, koi! I'm not really a cat. I'm a fish just like you. Here, koi!

I'm thinkin' Charlie's gonna have quite the necktie.

This is my personal favorite. In fact, Oscar better watch out or he may end up like this in October whether I have finger paints or not.

Swinging with Wild Thing

My dad's new house has a great little park by it. There are basketball courts, tennis courts, a baseball diamond, a big open area to run around or play soccer, and two big toys (slides, climbing walls, etc.). It's less than a block from his house.

I took Wild Thing down there tonight and we were swinging next to each other. At one point we were swinging in unison and then we ended up swinging opposite of each other. I was up, she was back. I was back, she was up. Each time we passed in the middle she had something to say.

Ta ta! (swing)

Sorry! Can't stay! (swing)

I have a party to go to! (swing)

Cake to eat! (swing)

Ice cream to eat! (swing)

See ya! (swing)

Each time I looked over at her she had her mischievous smile and her wonderful giggle. She was convinced she was the funniest thing since Bill Cosby. And to me, she is.

Overheard

While driving back to my dad's house after a beautiful and immensely fun day of skiing, we passed a frozen lake. The following conversation is true.

Wild Thing: What are those round balls on the lake? They're all frozen.

Max: Those are boobies.

Husband: Nooooo, they're buoys.

Wild Thing: What are doobies?

Husband: No! Buoys! Booooo-eeees.

Chilihead: sitting in my seat laughing until I almost pee my pants.

A  good day indeed!