Don't Try This At Home

WFMW: Blogging Basics 101

First I want send a huge Happy Birthday to my cousin, Green3. She's 8 and a half on a day that doesn't exist this year. In other words, she's a Leap Year Baby and she's celebrating today. Drop on over and tell her to have a great day!

OK, on to the tip.

If you're just beginning your blogging odyssey and have questions, might I suggest that you head over to Blogging Basics 101? Shannon and I were receiving many e-mails asking us questions about how to do different things on a blog (e.g., how to add a button to your sidebar) so we decided to answer those questions in a central place.

We try to answer a question a day, Monday through Saturday. However, neither of us are getting paid for this and we sometimes have a little lapse. For the most part, though, it's updated regularly. So check it out. We appreciate your questions!

Guitar Hero wisdom: Always keep a mini-fridge in your practice space, it's more important than the bassist.

Don't forget to also head over to Shannon's for more Works-for-Me Wednesday tips!

Link Love

Tuesdays are my busy days so I'm making it easy on myself by sharing some link love.

Paperback Swap: Make sure to click this link if you sign up! I get a credit for referring you when you post your first nine books. I've already boosted my library with books I can't wait to read. I've also sent out many books from my own library that I was ready to part with. To those of you who have signed up via my link, THANK YOU! They don't always tell me who signed up, but they send me an e-mail telling me someone signed up via my link and I get the credits. I really appreciate it!

Are you crafty? Do you have about an hour? Then you definitely need to visit One Hour Craft. The name says it all, folks. She has some great lesson plans on how to teach your child to sew too. Wild Thing and I have been working on this.

A blog I cannot read without laughing hysterically: Confessions of a Pioneer Woman. She lives on a ranch and she takes the best pictures. Oh, and she's pretty funny and a lot bawdy so be warned.

Michelle at Scribbit interviewed me recently. Wow, she really knows how to boost an ego. If you aren't reading her, you oughta. You can start with this most excellent post.

Guitar Hero wisdom: Life is hard for musicians, but nearly impossible for drummers.

Good Tuesday to you. Enjoy your links and your day!

What Went Wrong?

I know I just wrote a little snarky post about Anna Nicole Smith. I really don't want my blog to become overrun with celebrity tabloid stories, so I will try to make this my last one for a while. I have to weigh in on the Britney Spears stories though, because I think they point to a much larger issue.

I truly believe Ms. Spears is crying out for help. She can't get much louder without harming herself. Her people better start paying attention and get the tough love going.

The question I want to discuss is how did she get here? I hadn't given it much thought until I was reading that oh-so-cerebral magazine Entertainment Weekly (my mom got it for me and it's not as tabloid as you think and the reviews are good and I'm done defending myself). This week's edition has an entire article on Britney. The thing that struck me most from the article was that she is only 25. I knew she was young, but when you consider her timeline of fame, she's incredibly young for what she's seen. Or is she?

• 1993: 11 years old. The Mickey Mouse Club.

• 1998: 16 years old. Her album cover is a wholesome young girl in a pose reminiscent of Debbie Gibson. Nothing too bad. Her video from that album (Baby One More Time) has her dressed as a slutty Catholic school girl. Did I mention she's 16 years old?

• 2000: 18 years old. Starting to show even more skin on the album covers and in concert.

• 2001: 19 years old. She's dancing with a large snake to her song I'm a Slave to You. Nothing suggestive there. Unless you consider the connotations of snakes and the whole Adam/Eve thing suggestive. Oh, and her teeny tiny green bikini. But everybody does it, right?

• 2002: 20 years old. She stars in her widely-panned movie Crossroads. She's on a road trip to lose her virginity. Her audience is widely comprised of tweens. The truth is, though, I think it was panned because she couldn't act, not because of the message.
  

• 2003: 21 years old. She's legal and in leather. Dominatrix much?

• 2004: 22 years old. She's married to her friend while in Vegas, then annuls the union. The trucker hat and ripped jeans are a nice touch. Nine months later she's married to Kevin Federline. This is where, if you're part of her family and haven't been paying attention, you should start. It's already out of hand, but this is the beginning of the end. This will not end well. Everyone in America can see it except her family and handlers. Of course, if they were paying attention or giving her any sort of emotional support she probably wouldn't be flaunting herself so much or looking for love with a boy that is justthisside of trailerpark trash.

• 2005: 23 years old. She has her own reality TV series on MTV (no one is interested) and has her first child. From what I could tell, most people just pitied her at this point and she has lost most of her credibility

• 2006: 24 years old. She has her second child, she's in headlines everywhere because she's made some poor mothering choices in front of the cameras. She files for divorce from K Fed X or whatever he's calling himself this week. I call him trash. Hope springs eternal that she's finally getting it together. Then she BFFs Paris Hilton and those hopes are dashed. Still no one in her life to fill that emotional void.

• 2007: 25 years old. She refuses to stay in rehab more than a few hours, shaves her head, and has two more tattoos added to her collection. Note to Mother Spears: Ground your daughter. It's time to help her even if it means you're not popular and you lose the money.

My point, and I do have one, is that Britney Spears has been paraded around as a sex toy since she was 16. She never had to earn her rewards or wait until it was appropriate. (I can hear you now: When is it appropriate to strut around in public like a slutty school girl out of a Playboy fantasy? My answer: probably never.)

She skipped over her teen years in favor of becoming a sex symbol and her parents let her. I don't care how much money you offer me, Wild Thing will not be paraded around immodestly and suggestively by me when she is 16. There is no one who can tell me a 16 year old in our society is ready for the responsibility that comes with that territory.

At 16 your hormones are crazy. Britney had a great body and she knew it. Her mom and her handlers knew it. They capitalized on it. Once the cat was out of the bag there was no way to put it back. They had to keep going and find new ways to flaunt it. Sexy begat sexier. Where was there to go? At 16 Britney was allowed to use up everything that should have been hers alone for many more years.

In roughly ten years this girl has lived her entire life. No wonder she is where she is. There's nothing left to look forward to. How would you live your life if you had already done everything and had nothing left? I think I'd shave my head and get some more tattoos. And I'd wonder why my parents didn't love me enough to tell me to stop.

I leave you with this appropriate gem from Guitar Hero 2:

Dropping your pants onstage does not deploy star power.

YouTube: OK Go Now With Wallpaper

The guys on treadmills are back with an entirely new gig: wallpaper. It's phenomenal. Make sure you watch the whole thing because a) the guy with the lamp totally stole my moves and b) toward the end there's a thing with a pogo stick you must see. Of course, the real reason it's so cool is that it even has cowbell! Which, as you know, is the quickest way to my heart. Right after humor and world domination.

Miss Chili If You're Namaste

Holla all you Losties! (That's holla, not hola.)

Ever wonder how you could be part of the LOST saga? Ever want to have a little time down in the hatch? Pretend you were part of the Others or the Tailies? Perhaps commune with Locke? Well, then, you're a freak um, in luck.

You can now make your own Dharma Initiative food labels! Yes! You too can have Spreadable Legume Protein Paste from the Hanso Foundation. Or a crazy Asian man on the back of your cereal box. Or a Barley Flavored Drink (which comes with this helpful hint--Serving Suggestion: Drink).

But keep your hands off Desmond, brutha, or I may have to go all black smoke thing on you.

Product Review: Thomas' 100 Calorie English Muffins

A few days ago I reviewed Thomas' Mini Squares Bagelbites. Today I'll tell you about their 100 Calorie English Muffins.

Thomas' may just be my new best friend when it comes to bread. This company is really trying to meet the demands of our society and bring us healthy products. Whether you're doing South Beach like me, or Weight Watchers like many of my friends, or just trying to eat healthier, I think you'll find what you're looking for if you buy Thomas' products.

Here's the nutrition information for the 100 Calorie English Muffins:

• Serving size: one muffin
• Calories: 100 (it's in the title, folks)
• Total fat: 1g
• Trans fat: 0g
• Total carbs: 24 (remember, though, these are the good carbs that aren't full of sugar)
• Fiber: 5g
• Protein: 4g

What that means is these English muffins are good for you. They work within Phases 2 and 3 of South Beach and they are only ONE POINT for you WW people. When was the last time you had an entire English muffin for one point? That's what I'm sayin'.

The taste of the muffin is nothing really noteworthy. It tastes fairly bland like all other English muffins. However, I'm willing to bet your brand doesn't have the nutrition Thomas' offers. The bottom line is this: if I'm going to buy English muffins (or anything, really) for my family, I'd like it to be as nutritious as possible. I think you have that in Thomas' 100 Calorie English Muffins.

I don't recommend them quite as heartily as I recommended the Mini Squares Bagelbites, but I do think they are worth buying and checking out if you're an English muffin fan.

OK, I'm Just Gonna Say It

Our society has reached a new low. Days and days of Anna Nicole Smith and anything they could dig up. Who cares? Seriously. At one point I actually saw a picture of her on a news show with the words America's Rose next to it. WTH? Yeah, if by rose you mean wilted, wrinkled, and dropping faster than a Bunny at Hef's parties.

A few days ago I saw the new commercial for Pizza Hut's Cheesy Bites with Jessica Simpson. The first thing I thought was, "Are they trying to make her look like Anna Nicole?"

• Ditzy blond: check
• Slightly slurred speech that's trying to be sultry: checkity check check
• Red dress and bright lips: checkaroony
• Unladylike behavior in a ball gown: bibbidy-bobbidee-CHECK

What do you think? Is Jessica going to be the new Anna?

Headbanger's Ball

My family received Guitar Hero 2 for Christmas from my brother's family. Every Saturday night we have our own little Headbanger's Ball. It's serious stuff. Duuuuuude.

It's hard to say what my favorite part is about our weekly Battle of the Bands. There's the utter joy I feel at having a Stray Cats song on the game. Then there's the smirky smile from Max as he nails a new song. Don't forget Wild Thing completely jamming out from head to toe as she sings, "Yer mama's alright, yer daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird!" And there's the excitement of watching my kids discover new songs they love. For instance, Max luh-huvs Carry On Wayward Son.

But I guess the thing I love the most about our Guitar Hero game is that it gives you advice after you play. I shouldn't keep this joy to myself. I need to share it with you. So for the next week or so I'm going to end my posts with a little Guitar Hero love. They can be applied to oh-so-many-more situations than just rockin' out with the fam. No need to thank me. I'm a giver. It's what I do.

Wearing a bucket on your head won't help you pass this song, or maybe it will.

WFMW: Learning Something New

This year I decided that, since the kids are in school all day and I can only eat so many bon-bons, I would sign up for a few classes and learn something new. I can't tell you how much I have loved this.

As moms we sometimes give up part of ourselves as we focus on our children. Instead of Steinbeck we're reading dePaola and Seuss. Instead of writing that book we always wanted to write, we're writing notes to teachers. We don't begrudge our families any of these things and we do them willingly. For me, though, I sometimes had my eye on the day both children would be in school and I could start to find myself again. I never really left, but there were parts that were put on hold. These days I have a little more time to pursue some new interests and I'm taking advantage of that time.

In January I signed up for knitting classes. I have taken six weeks of knitting so far and I am completely hooked (no pun intended). In fact, I did not have anything to knit this weekend and I almost thought I'd go a little nutty. Learning a new hobby, leaving the house with purpose to meet with other women, and enjoying a little time for me is doing wonders for my outlook.

Here are the few projects I've completed: a scarf and a hat. I've also knitted a purse, but I'm in the process of lining it; I'll show you when I'm done.

 

Learning something new and taking time for myself. That's what's working for me this week. Don't forget to head over to Shannon's and see what's working for everyone else.

Product Review: Thomas' Mini Squares Bagelbread

A few weeks ago I was asked to review Thomas' Mini Squares Bagelbread and Thomas' 100 Calorie English Muffins. Ahem. Did someone said bread? Count me in. I was a little unsure at first, though, because I really have been trying to stick to the South Beach diet plan (per doctor's orders) since October. I have practically cut out eating bread because I can't find any that fits the whole-grain recommendation of the SB plan. That's not the case any longer, thanks to Thomas'. Today I'll review the Mini Squares and later this week I'll have a review about the 100 Calorie English Muffins.

Let me get this out of the way first: Thomas' Mini Squares Bagelbread are heaven for me. They are the right size, the right softness, the right nutrition, and definitely the right taste. These are delicious.

The name "Mini Square" is a misnomer in my opinion. This bread isn't the size of those mega bagels you can buy, but they aren't miniature, either. They are just the right size for a sandwich that will satisfy you.

Speaking of satisfaction (which goes hand-in-hand with nutrition for me), let's have a breakdown of the nutrition, shall we? As a mom, the nutrition factor is big with me and I'm sure you're the same way.

• Serving size: one bagel
• Calories: 150
• Total fat: 1g
• Trans fat: 0g
• Total Carbs: 30g (but remember, these are the good carbs from whole grains, not sugar)
• Fiber: 4g
• Protein 7g

Do you remember when I was telling you that most wheat bread is just brown white bread and is really full of sugar instead of whole grains? This ain't that. Mini Squares Bagelbread is made with whole wheat flour and has a whopping 31g of whole grains per serving. You can feel good about eating this bread and feeding it to your family.

My only complaint is that Mini Squares Bagelbread is not in stores quite yet. What?!? I'm jonesin' for some Bagelbread. This product should be making a debut at a store near you in about two weeks. That can't come soon enough. I gave some of my Bagelbread to my MIL before I realized my mistake and now I have to wait until it's in stores before I can replenish my stock. I'm not sure I can wait that long.

(Update: These are in stores! MY stores! I have a box now and I'm all better. Thank you to everyone who offered to send me some from their neck of the woods. I almost took you up on it!)

Those of you doing South Beach, this bread should fit the bill when you want a "real" sandwich instead of a wrap during Phases 2 and 3. Those of you doing Weight Watchers, an entire Mini Square is only ONE POINT. So enjoy a sandwich! And trust me, you will totally enjoy your sandwich if you make it on Thomas' Mini Squares Bagelbread. I highly recommend it.