I attended a funeral for a dear friend's dad on Thursday. I will attended another funeral for another friend's dad on Saturday. These are sad days indeed. Frankly, I don't feel much like posting so I'm going to repost an obscure post from way back in the day. Way back before I even told people I blogged. So even though it's old, you've probably never read it.
Originally posted June 12, 2005 (and, yeah, I've edited a little).
I've been to three funerals within a year. My grandpa died last year
of natural causes, his wife and my beloved grandma died this past April
from Alzheimer's, and a friend's mother died too young from cancer.
Reflecting on these funerals and memorials has made me consider what I
would want.
First, I want a party, a wake. Everyone should have beer or wine
depending on their preference. I want to be remembered for the funny
things I said, the kind things I did, and even the mistakes I made. I
want everyone to tell the best story they have about me--even if it's embarrassing. Maybe especially if it's embarrassing. Those are always the good ones, aren't they? I just want laughter.
Second, I want my friends to help Husband raise my kids. My friends are
my extended family and the closest things to sisters I've had. It took
me 25 years to find these women and they are integral to my life. I see
them every day and my children see them every day.
Third, I don't want to be buried. Cremated is fine, I guess, but who
wants to have to take care of that? How weird to have someone's ashes
in your house. I suppose some may find comfort in that, but I don't
think I would. I would prefer to have my body donated to science so
maybe I could help someone down the road. There is a place in Tennessee
(I think) called the Body Farm. It's a place where this guy uses bodies
willed to him to study forensics. That would be good.
Fourth and most important, I want people to try to not be sad. I'm
really trying to live each day the best I can. I love my life. Trust
me, I'm not goody-two-shoes. In fact, I believe I'm referred to as
"surly" in some circles. Apparently I have a look (my face in repose?)
that could drop you from across the room. However, I realize how lucky
I am and I try not to take it for granted. My husband is exactly my
match, our kids are precious. I am able to stay at home with my
children and raise them. I have great friends. My life is perfect for
me. I could not possibly ask for more. We are not monetarily wealthy to
some people's standards, but we can buy what we like at the grocery
store. I still think twice about spending money on frivolous things,
but we make sure we take at least two major family vacations a year
(usually including Disney World). I don't want people to be sad FOR me.
I'm not. I understand that they will be sad for themselves; I would be sad for myself
if I lost any them.
*Update*: I just ordered a plant for our friends. I couldn't bring myself to order flowers. I usually buy a plant because you can then bring it home with you or give it to someone and it will live on. Flowers will wilt and die. I find bought cut flowers to be an insane waste of money. Even when Husband surprises me with roses I find myself wishing he'd just taken me to dinner instead. So when I die, please don't send flowers. Send a plant or a rosebush or a donation to your favorite charity. Or better yet, don't do any of that. Instead put that money toward family time--whether it's a meal out or trip to Disney. Trust me, you'll know I was behind that 100%.
