Don't Try This At Home

A Little Surprise and A Lot of Love

I fancy myself a flapper. I'm sure that if I lived another life it was in the Roaring 20s...or any time up to the 40s. I am drawn to things from those days: dishes, furniture, clothing, style, all of it catches my eye. Husband knows this and is quick to point out things he knows I will appreciate.

The day after we returned home from vacation he surprised me with this:

Her name is Iris. I love her. I don't know that I've ever owned anything so beautiful in my life. In fact, it took quite a while to decide where to place her where she would not be knocked or bounced or ruined in any way, and still be somewhere that I could stare at her and appreciate her. I finally chose the dining room because I'm the only one who ever goes in there. I can sew at the table and look up to see her.

Little things like this are the reason I know Husband loves me and thinks of me. If he had asked me if I wanted it, I would have said, "No. It's too expensive. I'm content to look at her now." He knew I would say that. He bought her for me and surprised me. Now when I look at her, I think of Husband and I smile. I know he understand me. And he loves me anyway.

I Am Now "That Lady"

First, let me say: Ya'll? My margarita slushy is so cold that the outside of my glass is frosted. And, no, it wasn't pre-chilled. Y  U  M. Now back to our blog post.

I took the kids to the pool today for five hours. I loves me some pool time. I put SPF 50 on my kids TWICE and we all still got burned. So if you go out? Seriously, be prepared. (Why can't I type or say that without thinking of the song from The Lion King? Oh right. Because my kids are under 13.)

Back to the pool: We are in the pool and Max is playing with a friend and I'm playing with Wild Thing. All around us are teenagers (boys and girls) who are flirting and playing Monkey in the Middle (or Keep Away for us oldies). It is basically a cheap excuse for them to run into each other under the guise of trying to get the ball. They have completely taken over the shallow end of the pool. It is driving me crazy because there are bunch of smaller children all over. That's when I hear Max start to cry. I asked what happened (though I'm pretty sure I know) and he says one of the boys elbowed him in the head trying to get the ball. Those who know me know this did not go over well.

I jumped in the middle of their game (not hard to do since it took up the whole shallow end) and looked right at the leader and sputtered, "Settle down! You just hit my child in the head. Unless you want me to make a fuss with the manager you need to settle down!"

Yes. I actually said that. I sounded like a complete idiot. I told teens to settle down. I said I'd make a fuss. I basically said I was going to tattle on them. I'm sure they thought I was going to give them a time out. Oh yeah. It really made an impression.

Welcome! Mi Casa es Su Casa!

Sorry for the delay. The sad thing is, I wasn't even taking time to spruce up the place! Also? No pictures with the Groucho glasses. I was just too freakin' behind with everything to stage the humor. I am apologetic and shamed (hanging head). With that in mind, I invite you in for a margarita slushy! All better? Thought so! Let's get to it!

My front door. Where I sit and heckle the neighbor kids as they ride their bikes.

Where the bloggin' magic happens. Since this picture was taken, I have invested in a $5 trash can instead of the very pricey and oh-so-stylish Wal-Mart bag hung on a drawer. That big cup? Oh, it's iced tea. I SWEAR.

Where the Chilihead fam hangs out. It's bigger than the picture shows: it has a reading area (shown), a tv (left of picture--man! I need to dust!), my blogging area, and a walk-in closet to house all the toys my children never play with.

The kitchen. I hear you can use these for something called "cooking". I have yet to experience that, but I'll let ya know.
 

My dining room. I included this one because the walls are purple! I love my purple walls. They used to be white. Then I saw Decorating Cents and they painted over some beautiful purple walls. At that moment I vowed that for every purple wall destroyed, I would personally see to it that a purple wall was made. And so it was. Behold! The purple walls!

Hey! Thanks for stopping by! I really enjoyed having you. We need to do this again. Seriously, stop by any time. I'll make cookies . . . or at least get them out of the bag.

Don't forget go back over to BooMama's so check out all the other blog houses. Wasn't this a great idea?!? She has had an amazing response. I'm so impressed!

Not Quite Ready...

Hi! My open house post isn't quite ready. I just wanted to quickly ask you to bear with me and check back later today. Things have been crazy busy at the Chilihead house the past few days and I'm a little behind.

What I Cannot Do

Everyday Mommy is an amazingly talented woman. She is an artist, an actress, a director, a crafter, and, most importantly to me, a laugher. Last week she posted a picture of a nativity scene she made. Go see it; it'll knock your socks off. I'll wait.

Got your socks back on? Ok. Well, as you can imagine, after that post she had lots of comments like, "What can't you do?" so she told us. And then she asked what we can't do. I was going to answer this sooner, but I had to pare down my list. My goodness, there's no need for all of us to go to therapy, now is there?

So, without further ado, here is what Chilihead cannot do (in no particular order):

• I cannot do math. I can never do it in my head, and it's getting rarer that I can do it on paper.
• I cannot sing. I try, but it just isn't good. When Max was two I was singing in the car and he yelled (to be heard over the horrible din), "Mama! Please stop singing! It just doesn't work!"
• I cannot draw. I can doodle and accidently make a picture, but that's just a step above making pictures in the clouds.
• I cannot wear Cole Haan shoes. I'm sure if I could afford them, I would not be able to wear Jimmy Choos, Prada, or Manolo Blahniks either. My feet are too wide and they do not want fat-footed freaks wearing their shoes.
• I cannot relax in a crowd. I just know that someone will take my blond, blue-eyed, beautiful children from me.
• I cannot take a compliment. I will reflexively make a self-deprecating comment and laugh it off.
• I cannot wear a red hat with a purple flower. Even as a joke.
• I cannot scrapbook. I am aligned with Everyday Mommy on this.

So, come on. Tell us. What can't you do? If you want to post it at your site, trackback here so people will know to check you out.

WFMW: TV Dinner Trays

My WFMW is to re-use those TV dinner trays! After I eat my delectable Chicken and Gravy Healthy Choice meal (that's my mantra and I'm stickin' to it) I pop it on the top rack of the dishwasher. When it's nice and clean I use it for various crafty projects. The little food compartments are perfect for separating buttons, glitter and glue, or different colors of paint. When you are finished with the project you just toss the container in the trash or you can clean it out again.

If you have smaller kids (but old enough they won't choke on small items) you could use the container to sort different things like noodle shapes, counting bears, etc.

To view more hints and tips, visit Rocks In My Dryer the original Works for Me Wednesday tipster!

My Newest Loves

While in Colorado, Husband and I found a great little shop up in Estes that already had their fabulous Halloween decor up!

For those of you who do not know me personally, I AM A HALLOWEEN FUH-REAK. I usually try to buy vintage stuff from the 20s up to the 60s. I like the noisemakers, the games, and the advertisements from magazines. I'd love to collect the postcards, but they are just too expensive. I also collected the Dept 56 Halloween buildings (part of the Snow Babies collection for some reason). I've gotten away from these buildings because 1) I have several already and I'm running out room and 2) now that my kids are older we are more into making the house scary than just decorating.

Last year I put my witch costume on and sat still as a statue outside on our bench. I had so much fun as older children and adults would walk past me, wondering aloud whether I was a doll or not, and ring the bell. When no one answered they would turn toward me and notice I was holding a candy dish. As they reached for the candy I would grab their hands or say, "DON'T touch the candy!" You can't imagine their looks. My favorite was the 20-something who was so cool and almost fell on his butt in my garden.

I had people coming up just to see me telling me they'd heard about me from the neighbors. What a laugh! Of course, any time I saw someone under eight or nine, I would take off my mask and just give them the candy. No sense jading them at such a young age.

Anyway, here are the fabulous Halloween items I picked up on my vacation. Aren't they adorable? Not a bit vintage, but I couldn't resist. The cat on the far left is a light! Ooooh I'm so excited for Halloween and there are about 100 days until that wonderful holiday! We are already discussing what we want to "be" for Halloween so we will be sure to have our costumes perfect. No firm decisions yet, but I'll keep you posted (no pun intended).

WOW! I Can't Believe It!

Thank you to everyone who voted for me over at MOTW! I really appreciate that you all thought enough of my blog to vote for me. When I opened up my e-mail this morning I almost fell out of my chair because I was laughing so hard. I was laughing because I couldn't believe it: I won! I told my friends last week that it was more than I ever aspired to and was just happy to be included in such great company. After all, those ladies were darn funny!

Of course with great power comes great responsibility and now I have to come up with hilarious and interesting posts every day for the rest of my life. So, I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to go out and hope something hilarious or interesting happens to me so I can then entertain you on my blog.

(BTW, whoever nominated me? I thank you. You have no idea how fun this has been for me. I really, really appreciate it. Thank you!)

Taking My Kids Out of School

Some of you may remember when I went to Iowa in February to celebrate my grandparent's anniversary. One of the great things about seeing extended family is sitting around the dining room table catching up with each other. Everyone tells little bits of their lives and we all feel like we are once again in tune.

Well, apparently one of my stories has stayed with my extended family. Really, this story is so not a big deal that I hesitate to even tell you. However, when I casually relayed it in February, everyone at the table just dropped their jaws and stared at me. Ann e-mailed me and said it's time I told the masses (considering how I've been sharing about the beer, tattoo, and general trashiness of my life).

We have in our town a place called Incredible Pizza (I believe it's a chain so you may have one near you as well.). It is in what used to be a Target. It is cavernous. This place has a Movie dining area (showing old movies or TV shows from the 60s a la Batman), a Gym dining area (with long folding tables and folding chairs with a huge TV blaring Nick Jr.), a dining area with booths (I forget what this one is called--The Malt Shop?), and a Home dining area (with tables and chairs). It also has a humongous buffet.

After you eat you can brave the arcade. The arcade is dark and is split into different areas as well:

• Ages 5 and under: ball pit, tiny carousel, small train, etc.
• Games of Chance: the claw games and stuff like that.
• Skee Ball
• Bowling (mini bowling lanes)
• Go carts
• Mini golf
• Bumper cars
• Paint ball

Now imagine you arrive at Target on Saturday and the entire parking lot is FILLED. There are absolutely no spaces to be had. NONE. I'm not talking about no spaces up front and boo hoo I have to walk. I'm talking not. one. space. This is how it is every evening and weekend at Incredible Pizza.

I hate crowds and I hate other parents who don't control their kids and consider a place like this childcare so they can sit and chat while their kids run wild unattended. I refuse to patronize Incredible Pizza on evenings or weekends. What is a mother to do?

Well, I took my kids out of school at lunch and met some friends at Incredible Pizza for an afternoon of food and fun. Is that so bad? It wasn't crowded, I was able to play with my kids, and they felt special because they were out of school. I don't do it that often, but I suppose I do it more than some. I know that because I stay at home it's easier for me to do these things and I think that's why it floored my family. Or maybe it floored them because many of them are teachers and they don't think I should be pulling my kids for frivolous stuff? Or...?

We also plan our Disney World vacation during school time. I don't want to go when it's hot and I don't want to go when it's crowded. You have no idea how I think school cramps my lifestyle. <grin>

What do you think? Is that just the weirdest, most inappropriate thing? Or have you done it too?

Update: Just so you know, I don't have a problem taking my kids out of school. They do well and we are coming up on the last few years I can do this without disrupting their work. I don't think my family thinks I'm a bad mom or being irresponsible. Far from it. I just don't think it ever occurred to them (as Ann's comment says) to take kids out for a trivial afternoon that isn't directly related to a learning experience. I personally never thought twice about it. I appreciate everyone's comments; I had no idea this would be such a popular topic!

I Met Another Blogger

I just met Chase over at Taste the World. Ya'll, she's adorable. She's funny. She's a little more reserved than I expected (but methinks she was just on good behavior; I expect to see a little more of the "real" Chase if I get to see her again!).

Go check her out. She has great posts on Tango-ing, being herself, that all-important first shave, and puberty. Go. NOW! Buh-bye.